4.6 KiB
Journal
2025
2025-02 February
2025-02-19 Wednesday
[2025-02-19 Wed 22:14]
Wholy Moley! This is so tiering! The last two weeks have been - let me put it this way - special.
Not that's it's enough to see how Trump fucks the Amerian people - like he said! I have to see Elon, maybe a smart one, but still the greates dick on earth, doing it's thing in the White House while a bored Trump just sits next to him, hardly even thinks he needs to say something as well. Not that I want to hear his lies and provocations or any other shit he's trying to flood the floor with. It's all the ass-lickers around him that make me even more sick to my stomache.
I also have to digest, that he openly just does not care about most human beeings, regardless if they live in Ameria, in Mexico, Canada, Gaza, Urkrain, Russia or all of Europe, basically everywhere. I just have to accept the fact that there are just aweful beings in this world. Well, that's not even news actually. But it might be that I have to see that such people manage to get enough power to make me fear them and what they might be doing next - carelessly and planless fucking something, that will hurt another set of human beings.
It's enough that I see, that my long-term belives, the ever growing divide between the rich and the poor is not only happening in countries that have less solid and democracies, but also - or maybe especially - in those. It makes me sick to the stomache, to see their wealth grow and grow and grow, while more and more ordinary peeps are struggling more and more.
Then there is the next topic, politics in Germany, that slowly but steadily are hit as well, as the rest of the western countries, with unstable governments, due to right-wing parties gaining more and more voters.
It's a phenomena you can spot throughout all western countries. And it seems to me, like it's the same story everywhere. The schematics are simple, but powerful.
More and more people loose trust in our institutions, our belives, our values. It's unclear to me if it's their fear of the future, due to climate change, due to them fearing they are loosing wealth or security, AI (FFS), their freedom to keep things as they are or if it's simply the fear from things around them changing to fast to digest things.
Neither is possibly a problem by itself, but all together this is really fucking people up.
And I'm not even only talking about the ones that we already lost to either conspiracy theories, the lies that are feed them through social media or any other form. I mean we have lost quite a lot of people. I sometimes forget, there have been idiots before, but it seems we loose more on more to stupid lies.
But I myself, am struggling to keep my faith, to keep my will, to keep my head high to endure all the shit that is thrown at us. My mood, my trust, my faith, my belives are fading slowly. I don't find a place to let that anger out.
Today, I had a really bad day and am soo down. I hoped that writing this up - yeah, I'm so bad at writing - will help me to sort my thoughts. Just a second ago, I realized that, the things that I think have driven others to drastic measures, like voting for a fashist party or worse are actually the same things that seem to run me down at the moment.
I'm consuming too much news. If the news is full of bullshit, it's a shitload to not be mad about. It has been much before, but the flood the floor is making things worse. I do not want to turn my head completly away and miss something, but that's probably also similar mechanisms like any addiction.
At the same time, I don't want them to win that fight. But there is a difference between not caring and to listen to all shit that's put out there. Maybe I need to trust in the peeps, which's job that actually is - the journalists - that still suck all that up and put it into perspective.
I don't need to see each fucking video of a person I hate, saying something I am disgusted by. Although it's as well, it's like watching some reality TV, giving assurance there are way dumber people out there that me - which always is something that lifts you up a bit, into the feeling, I'm better than them.
I'm realizing, that my thoughts are messy and they seem to be circular, finding no conclusion. But maybe it's still a good way to come back to these thoughts, re-read them and spot patterns, that I'm currently not able to see clearly.
That's why I'm scheduling myself to revisit this note and draw futher conclusions from them. Even if it's that I need to structure my thoughts before writing a wall of text like this 🙂!
TODO read again and divide the topics up into separate buckets
SCHEDULED: <2025-02-22 Sat>